How to Hit a Curve Ball is a paperback book (Religion/Christian Life/Personal Growth) co-authered by Stephen James and David Thomas; it is published by Tyndale House Publishers, 2008.
The book, overall, is awesome. It is highly recommended. Men everywhere are brothers, sons, fathers, and husbands, or some combination of the four. The relationships that proceed from those roles - or combination of roles - are beyond priceless. Men, we have the God-given ability to positively or negatively influence all of the relationships involved in those roles and all of the relationships proceeding from the people we immediately engage in those roles! That is undoubtedly a heavy, heavy responsibility. We all could use a little help along the way. Perhaps that’s the first lesson all men need to tackle straightaway. This little book is a big step in the right direction.
My rating: stars
The back cover of How to Hit a Curve Ball, Grill the Perfect Steak, and Become a Real Man: Learning What Our Fathers Never Taught Us champions the book as “An Instruction Manual” for men. “Finally!” The back cover begins. “An Instruction Manual!” Well, not quite. But it is pretty close. Truthfully, the book was not meant to be an instruction manual. In spite of the back cover’s satirical cleverness, the content itself is a solid effort at debunking the idea of an instructional manual for men. Ironically, it almost is as good a manual as one could get, without actually calling it a manual. Makes sense? If not, read on.
The big idea of this latest offering from the same guys who gave us Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? A Man’s Guide to the Loaded Questions Women Ask and Yup. “Nope.” “Maybe.” A Woman’s Guide to Getting More Out of the Language of Men is not static instruction that neither works, nor challenges, but inspiration. Specifically, How to Hit a Curve ball is an inspired invitation for men to relinquish the vain need to master the daily mechanics that accompany manhood and simply show up and dive headlong into those things that men are most instinctively passionate. Stephen James, in the book’s conclusion, in a section aptly titled “Looking for the Right Playbook,” articulates this big idea succinctly:
“Authentic manhood has nothing to do with performance and everything to do with presence. It’s not what we do or how well we do it; it’s more a question of whether we’re showing up in our day-to-day lives. Do we bring everything we have to the process of our lives” (241)?
There is no playbook, men. And our fathers were woefully prepared to teach us anything substantial about the most important things we face in life as men. In fact, as the authors of How to Hit a curve Ball correctly assume, we men learn most things in process. Why? Well, it seems our fathers were overtly preoccupied with the same detrimental distraction stealing a huge portion of our own valuable attention: the impossible need to master the basic and daily mechanics of manhood.
James continues to make the point:
“Everywhere we turn, guys are saying the same kinds of things to us. They’re stumbling through adulthood, trying to get it all together (or worse, pretending they have it all together). Much of their energy and self-image is tied to how well they can hide their problems and cluelessness. But here’s an important bit of news: There is no playbook to memorize. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to manhood. We’re never going to ‘get it right’ and then be able to kick back in the La-Z-Boy and put our feet up. What we have instead is a mess (called life), a story, a solution, and the challenge of taking what we have and finding something that reflects what God intends for us as men made in his image” (243).
The authors wisely point men towards God. It is all about God! It is in God that our manhood is made complete, because within God we are released from the limitations we impose upon ourselves by mistakenly placing all of our focus on mastering the daily mechanics of manhood (hitting a curve ball, grilling the perfect steak, changing the oil, using power tools competently, etc.). It’s not that these mechanics are discarded! Far from it! In fact, the authors include actual instructions for all of those things men face but were never taught by their fathers. There are instructions for curve ball hitting, tie tying, toilet fixing, steak grilling, oil changing, baseball throwing, job interviewing, raise negotiating, and even car hot-wiring! These are things men do. So, the point is not to discard these things, but to put them in the right perspective by viewing manhood through in God. When we start searching for the image of God within us, and embracing all that God intended for manhood, our approach to life becomes completely different than the one we inherited from our woefully uninstructive fathers. Our daily focus is turned towards basic principles rooted in god, and away from hard-and-fast rules. This is a priceless bit of wisdom all men everywhere need to grasp, immediately.
James, Stephen, and David Thomas. How to Hit a Curveball, Grill the Perfect Steak, and Become a Real Man: Learning What Our Fathers Never Taught Us. Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, 2008.